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Tag: Sadness

I am just

I am just a simple man,
A man who doesn’t always say the right thing,
Who doesn’t always know the right thing to do.
A man who cannot always express himself
Like a gifted speaker
Who sometimes stops
And starts when saying something.
Whose words sometimes like torrents flow forth.
A man whose emotions sometimes overwhelm him
And then like a fool degrades himself
Before those for whom he cares
And forever he then carries a burden of guilt
Of some imagined wrong.

I am just a stupid man,
Who doesn’t always see that someone cares.
Who feels a numbness for the outside world,
And an emptiness within.
Who doesn’t believe that love exists,
For him, only others.
Never for methat simple happiness
Of love requited.

I am just a wanting man,
Crying out for someone to care.
A lonely voice it seems to me,
For no-one answers.
Am I alone?
And you, will you heed my call?
Please.

15/05/1990

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Cause of Anguish

Colours run through my mind
Lights, shapes, memories
Are all I have now
Of a once complete consciousness

Stability no longer exists
Since she came
At once my mind became restless
Until it became divided

My soul stretched out to her
My shyness fought against nature
My actions were no longer mine
My thoughts were confused

I knew it would happen
For me loneliness evermore
But my mind cannot endure it
Please, please help…

30/04/1978

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Ground Zero

What did they feel I wonder?
As they were swept away on that hideous wave.
That same wave that so terribly burnt the names
Hiroshima and Nagasaki
Into our dull consciousness.

Were they afraid, did they feel terror
In those few seconds?
Did they think on their loved ones,
Did they know they were going to die,
Or were they just living their ordinary lives?

Were the children playing in the streets?
Were the mothers shopping, washing, talking?
Were the fathers working as they had always done?
Did they have brothers I wonder
Fighting at the front?

So many died in that instant, in that twinkling of an eye,
All on the orders of a solitary man so far away.
And so many of the undead
Suffered so terribly.
Was it worth it?

And now so many years later
What lessons have we learnt?
Could it ever happen again?
Will so many people die so needlessly
Or can we learn to live in peace?

13/01/1990

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For Many Years Have I

For many years have I
Alone wandered
On the uneven path
Of my life
While the darkness devoured me
And my fears assailed me
And my guilt besieged me
I would cry on the wind
But no-one heard
I would scream to the stars
But no-one cared
I would shout to the emptiness
But no-one came
And on I walked
Isolated
Desolate
Scared
Scarred
Longing for the greater night
To overwhelm my tired soul
And end the pain

07/02/2018

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This Too Crowded Island

This too crowded island
Drains me
Cold wind, cold rain, cold people
Chill me
Sadden me
Make me
Homeless in my own home
Take me
On dark, dark roads
Going from nowhere
To nowhere
Through brick built jungles
Sterile sanctuary of sterile souls
Grey dank faces watching me
Through dusty windows of dust minds
Unattractive, unappealing, unclean
Living corpses crying
Putrid babbles
Of nothingness
And hate
Yet I remain
Unheard
Unseen
Unwanted

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Your Tears

Your tears, like silver raindrops fell
Silent, unchecked, unstoppable.
You think they are a sign of weakness
But they are not.
I sat there and saw you cry,
Saw the child within the woman
And the beauty deep inside.
You have a gift, my friend,
That has not been given to many.
You feel, you care, you love.
You see the mooi in everything
That is a precious thing you have,
Do not lose it or hide it deep within you,
Where no-one can see it
But let it grow with you.
This world has need of that
And of you.

17/01/1990

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