The pretentious prattlings of a piss poor poet
In the cool evening air,
I think of you.
In the still light of day,
I think of you.
In my times of trial,
I think of you.
In the blackest night,
I think of you.
And when my time of freedom comes,
I will love you.
As I need you now.
15/05/1990
Leave a CommentI am a traitor to my race.
I have betrayed their trust.
Because they are a people of hate
And I a person of love.
They wanted me to hate
Hate my fellow man.
And yet I love you
And thus conspired against mankind.
When will they find me
And expose me for what I am?
But yet I cannot hate you
No matter what they do.
And are you also a betrayer
Or are you just like them?
Oh, I’ll give my love to you
But will you do the same thing too?
13/01/1990
Leave a CommentAnd why do I love you?
No answer can I find,
No reason do I have for loving you,
But I do.
15/05/1990
Leave a CommentSo many dreams have died
In my heart
And now another
Of you
How much more heartache must I take
Before I die?
What new pains
Must I learn
Before the darkness?
Let me retire from this life’s race
Defeated and forgotten
Torment me not with stark remembrances
Of what could not be
Persecute not this weary soul
With hateful voices
03/08/1992
Leave a CommentFor the first time I see the blue sky,
For the first time I hear the blackbird sing,
For the first time I smell the scented roses,
For the first time I feel the warm night air.
How could I have been so blind?
How could I have been so deaf?
I have stumbled through life in darkness,
Now you lead me to the light.
No longer will I lie afraid at night,
Afraid of the ghosts of my past.
No longer will I shamefully submit,
To those who have no power over me.
For the first time I live,
For the first time I need,
For the first time I care,
And for the first time I love.
18/10/1989
Leave a CommentAnd in this time of loneliness,
My thoughts they rest on you,
And then my wandering mind returns
To everything you say and everything you do.
How lost I am without you,
How joyless am I here on my own.
And yet I must of needs go on,
As I carry this burden alone.
And when I lay me down to rest
And close these weary eyes.
It is you I see in the darkness,
For you are where my heart lies.
And as I go through this time alone,
I know that you have not left me.
For you are safely locked in my heart,
And you have set me free
18/09/2000
Leave a CommentLove,
What is love?
The wise men are ignorant of it
They say no such thing exists
Only animal lusts
And carnal desires
No feelings for ones’ fellow
No unselfish actions
Or words
No hope for a better tomorrow
Or brighter today
They sneer at such ideals
If they are right
(And they are wise)
Then I am lost
Lost, alone and frightened.
But if this is true
And they are right
Who, then, are you?
13/07/1990
Leave a CommentI am just a simple man,
A man who doesn’t always say the right thing,
Who doesn’t always know the right thing to do.
A man who cannot always express himself
Like a gifted speaker
Who sometimes stops
And starts when saying something.
Whose words sometimes like torrents flow forth.
A man whose emotions sometimes overwhelm him
And then like a fool degrades himself
Before those for whom he cares
And forever he then carries a burden of guilt
Of some imagined wrong.
I am just a stupid man,
Who doesn’t always see that someone cares.
Who feels a numbness for the outside world,
And an emptiness within.
Who doesn’t believe that love exists,
For him, only others.
Never for methat simple happiness
Of love requited.
I am just a wanting man,
Crying out for someone to care.
A lonely voice it seems to me,
For no-one answers.
Am I alone?
And you, will you heed my call?
Please.
15/05/1990
Leave a CommentWhen in the rebellion of mens eyes I am alone,
I have a warmth inside that gives me life.
When in the hatred of men’s thoughts I am in danger,
I have no fear for you are with me.
When in the anger of men’s fears I suffer without sound,
I feel no anguish for you strengthen me.
When in the blackness of men’s hearts I stumble blindly,
I worry not for you are there to guide me.
When in the dungeon of men’s dreams I am a captive,
I am in peace for your love frees me.
26/08/1989
Leave a CommentThe candle in the corner splutters and dies
Fading slowly to dimness
Casting strange dancing shadows on the walls
Until it is engulfed by growing darkness
And only a glowing ember is left
Where its life used to be
And then that too disappears
Just the smoke remains
Forlornly forcing its way heavenward
And then it too is gone
And all is left in cold blackness.
Who had warmed their frozen hands
Around this self-same flame?
How many children had played late at night
In its warm and friendly light?
How much was done
Whilst this candle gave of itself
Unselfishly, unceasingly
Using what it had only for others
Until all was consumed
And it left us alone with the dark
The cold and lonely dark
04/08/1992
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