The pretentious prattlings of a piss poor poet
For many years have I
Alone wandered
On the uneven path
Of my life
While the darkness devoured me
And my fears assailed me
And my guilt besieged me
I would cry on the wind
But no-one heard
I would scream to the stars
But no-one cared
I would shout to the emptiness
But no-one came
And on I walked
Isolated
Desolate
Scared
Scarred
Longing for the greater night
To overwhelm my tired soul
And end the pain
07/02/2018
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This too crowded island
Drains me
Cold wind, cold rain, cold people
Chill me
Sadden me
Make me
Homeless in my own home
Take me
On dark, dark roads
Going from nowhere
To nowhere
Through brick built jungles
Sterile sanctuary of sterile souls
Grey dank faces watching me
Through dusty windows of dust minds
Unattractive, unappealing, unclean
Living corpses crying
Putrid babbles
Of nothingness
And hate
Yet I remain
Unheard
Unseen
Unwanted
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A room
A crowd
A silence
Possesses me
Alone I sit
But surrounded
Encased in humanity
And I am afraid
Of what?
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Your tears, like silver raindrops fell
Silent, unchecked, unstoppable.
You think they are a sign of weakness
But they are not.
I sat there and saw you cry,
Saw the child within the woman
And the beauty deep inside.
You have a gift, my friend,
That has not been given to many.
You feel, you care, you love.
You see the mooi in everything
That is a precious thing you have,
Do not lose it or hide it deep within you,
Where no-one can see it
But let it grow with you.
This world has need of that
And of you.
17/01/1990
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Unhinged
The night
Full fear
Dark dreams
Black
Foreboding
Ghosts
Memories
Haunting me,
Hunting me
And I run
Fleeing
From these miseries
And bury myself
Within the hidden folds of my dread
27/11/1999
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Time is no friend of mine
Its hateful onward crawl
Into the future
Over the ruins of the present
Away from the darkness of the past
Leaving warped wasted wrecks in its wake
A cold, cold fiend
Full of malice and hate
Uncaring of those it leaves behind
Those like me
31/12/1987
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Suburban walls, suburban gardens,
Suburban bricks
Confront me
A decade on
So much has changed
Behind my suburban exterior
Am I as unrecognisable
As the scene before me?
As cold, as hard, as bleak?
So much changed
Beneath the same shell
Like these houses and shops
Am I, like them,
Decaying,
Rotting from within?
Have these ten long and weary years
So etched their pain
Into the very stones of my soul
That I may never return
To what I was?
But if I could
Would I?
Have I endured the torturing winds
And tormenting rains
For nothing?
Have I watched them erode my hard exterior
And expose my raw and bloody flesh
To the tempestuous elements
Just to say
"It is right,
Right to suffer so"?
No, no I will not
But stand and shout
At my new found strength
Swept clean by those who seek to hurt
And once more return
Return to this suburbia
Unlike those around
In their safe suburban lives
A newcomer
Returning to my fathers' land
To these
Suburban walls, suburban gardens,
Suburban bricks
13/07/1990
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What memories will die with me
When I am gone?
What thoughts, what words,
What voices
Will silent fall
And never again heard will be
When this all too short term
Is passed
And I to dust am returned?
20/04/2018
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A death
Tragic
Unnecessary
Came to my view
On the television
The other day
A person
Alone
Had ceased to be
And I cried
26/09/1998
Leave a CommentSo many fears Ripping me apart Voices in my head Driving me insane Pain Hitting me like rain Keep it inside Smile at distant faces No-one comes near Only fear Isolation No Emotion Mask your true identity Bluff your way through All you see is red Like blood No-one cares No-one dares Struggle, struggle without end Slowly die, drain away Only empty shell remains Blown easily on the wind What a mess Early death No-one holds funeral Who'll mourn Fear torn Wreck that you are Silent strain Silent pain Insanity within insanity Madness out of bounds Drive dies So do I No caress No rest Say goodbye to the outside world Say goodbye to tomorrow Only yesterday Yesterday never leaves Say goodbye Hello pain Confusion, confusion, confusion Mix up in time Future, Present, Past Cannot last Death comes fast Oh to cease breathing
14/12/1983
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