The pretentious prattlings of a piss poor poet
From nothing I came
And to nothing will I return
Between these an eternal agony of existing
Bearing me onward
Towards oblivion
A nobody I was
A nobody I will be
Lost in this wilderness of being
Reminding me always
Of my failure
Born nowhere
I will die nowhere
Alone along many paths have I stumbled
Unguided, unknown
Unwanted
16/03/2021
Leave a CommentWhen I am here no longer
Grieve not for I am nothing
But if a memory of me comes unbidden
Haste you to that great oak
That has at times so gently guarded us
And spread its shady limbs above our souls
Then sit you down against that hoary wrinkled trunk
And view again those verdant fields
Where often dancing larks on wing set flight
And cautious deer do snuggle in swelling grass
And when winds warm whisper
Your ruddy cheek so tenderly kisses
Silent hold your remembrance of me within
And know that I am near
At last at peace beside you
And tear not that I am gone
When I am here no longer
09/02/2021
Leave a CommentThe corrugated roof cracks and moans
In the still midday heat
No breeze breaks this spell
Of shimmering mirage
On the rock strewn ridges
The cows gather lazily
Under the few shade trees
Scattered scantily about
This strange, hot landscape
I lie, exhausted, sweaty
Under this groaning roof
And feel all nature
Press in upon me
Hot, humid, overpowering
The crickets shrill shriek
Arises from their hidden roosts
Piercing this eerie silent Hades
Into which I have wearily journeyed
16/02/1991
Leave a CommentThe coffee cup grows cold slowly in my hand
Whilst I, distracted, think on you.
Then the world surrounding me
Stops
And I lose myself in fading remembrances
My heart is warmed
And I am slowly lifted
Out of the darkness
That I have built around me
Since you left.
And when I turn back to reality
I know you are with me
Within
And I am whole.
13/07/1990
Leave a CommentSuburban walls, suburban gardens,
Suburban bricks
Confront me
A decade on
So much has changed
Behind my suburban exterior
Am I as unrecognisable
As the scene before me?
As cold, as hard, as bleak?
So much changed
Beneath the same shell
Like these houses and shops
Am I, like them,
Decaying,
Rotting from within?
Have these ten long and weary years
So etched their pain
Into the very stones of my soul
That I may never return
To what I was?
But if I could
Would I?
Have I endured the torturing winds
And tormenting rains
For nothing?
Have I watched them erode my hard exterior
And expose my raw and bloody flesh
To the tempestuous elements
Just to say
“It is right,
Right to suffer so”?
No, no I will not
But stand and shout
At my new found strength
Swept clean by those who seek to hurt
And once more return
Return to this suburbia
Unlike those around
In their safe suburban lives
A newcomer
Returning to my fathers’ land
To these
Suburban walls, suburban gardens,
Suburban bricks
13/07/1990
Leave a CommentWhat memories will die with me
When I am gone?
What thoughts, what words,
What voices
Will silent fall
And never again heard will be
When this all too short term
Is passed
And I to dust am returned?
20/04/2018
Leave a CommentSo many years have I
The littling voices heard
And listened whilst
They lying spoke
And mouthed deriding words
Malignant in my mind
Of how I ungainly, unseemly and unfit
For custom social and for life unsuited was
Of intellect enfeebled and any skills divorced
And so believing siren song
Until now I travelled blind
But now I meekly sit and I ask
The truth of all I knew
If so unskilled am I
Then how have I become
All that I am and that is much
And more there is to come
So now must I
The littling voices still
And onward go
And higher still
To see what lies beyond
Then shall I with perfect peace
Full consummated pass
To darkness then
To seek what lies beyond
29/11/2009
Leave a CommentSilent stone word carved
By church and heath
Says so little
Of the soul that lies
Under turf
And sky
What spark was lit
From that mortal frame
And raised
From lowly shepherd
So divine a voice
In this lonely place?
I feel a debt
Of thankfulness
And humility
To this kindred spirit
Whose majesty I feel
Reaching out
As I stand
Before the
Silent stone word carved
19/09/1998
Leave a CommentAnd last night
As you lay
On my sofa
Curled up
Fetal-like
Innocent
Like a baby
I wanted
To tell you
How I feel
But I did not
I left you
Undisturbed
As you lay
On my sofa
18/09/2000
Leave a CommentI sit here in my room and look out across the street
There is a light on in someone’s room
Whose I’ll never know, someone I know I will never meet
I’m just a stooped raincoat in the gloom
Star shine
Shine brightly
Brightly on those out there who know
Know what it means to be tired and alone
Alone without anyone
Anyone to love
I walk in the park watching prams pulling mothers
Talking to no-one, letting their children play
Passing me by, going back to their lovers
Not seeing a stooped raincoat in their way
Star shine
Shine brightly
Brightly on anyone out there who loves
Loves all those who are tired and alone
Alone without anyone
Anyone to love
I recall the one I love, how her going hurt me so
Standing there, an old suitcase in her hand
She told me she had to leave, had to go
She couldn’t love a stooped raincoat so bland
Star shine
Shine brightly
Brightly down on the one whose leaving hurt me so
So much it left me tired and alone
Alone without anyone
Anyone to love
I stand alone in the city square and look round
There’s nothing here except the city lights
Nothing here for me in this cold, hard town
For a lost stooped raincoat in the night
Star shine
Shine brightly
Brightly down on all those lonely people here
Here where we live so tired and alone
Alone without anyone
Anyone to love
I turn round and head back to my lifeless room
The light is off now there across the street
It doesn’t matter anyway, let my pain resume
For me, a stooped raincoat incomplete
Star shine
Shine brightly
Brightly down on the life I leave behind
Behind me so tired and alone
Alone without anyone
Anyone to love
05/03/2003
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