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Month: August 2018

A Knife

I held a knife
Blade shining slick,
Siren singing to my sinful soul
Nordic ground,
Belly round,
Tang full,
Edge sharp
Like yearning
As biting as pain
Steel spine
Cold against my skin
Raising hairs
On my naked arm
Handle of southern Tamboti wood
Red lined
Colour of dried blood, satin smooth
Fragrant spice perfume
Rich to my nostrils,
Warm, sensuous, sinuous,
Like an old lover
Lightly lying in my hand
Oh how I long
To release your gift
And with that favour
Release my own11/02/2017

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Alone

Tomorrow brings another day
Alone, world weary, without hope.
My cares lie heavy,
My thoughts in turmoil, torment me.
Another day without you I suffer.
My sorrow fills my aching heart.
My cup of loneliness overflows.
I call out your name,
Silence answers me,
It’s repression surrounds me,
Darkness enfolds me,
In the distance a light I see,
Could it be my salvation?

15/05/1990

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At Swartmodder – II

The corrugated roof cracks and moans
In the still midday heat
No breeze breaks this spell
Of shimmering mirage
On the rock strewn ridges
The cows gather lazily
Under the few shade trees
Scattered scantily about
This strange, hot landscape

I lie, exhausted, sweaty
Under this groaning roof
And feel all nature
Press in upon me
Hot, humid, overpowering
The crickets shrill shriek
Arises from their hidden roosts
Piercing this eerie silent Hades
Into which I have wearily journeyed

16/02/1991

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I am just

I am just a simple man,
A man who doesn’t always say the right thing,
Who doesn’t always know the right thing to do.
A man who cannot always express himself
Like a gifted speaker
Who sometimes stops
And starts when saying something.
Whose words sometimes like torrents flow forth.
A man whose emotions sometimes overwhelm him
And then like a fool degrades himself
Before those for whom he cares
And forever he then carries a burden of guilt
Of some imagined wrong.

I am just a stupid man,
Who doesn’t always see that someone cares.
Who feels a numbness for the outside world,
And an emptiness within.
Who doesn’t believe that love exists,
For him, only others.
Never for methat simple happiness
Of love requited.

I am just a wanting man,
Crying out for someone to care.
A lonely voice it seems to me,
For no-one answers.
Am I alone?
And you, will you heed my call?
Please.

15/05/1990

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Cause of Anguish

Colours run through my mind
Lights, shapes, memories
Are all I have now
Of a once complete consciousness

Stability no longer exists
Since she came
At once my mind became restless
Until it became divided

My soul stretched out to her
My shyness fought against nature
My actions were no longer mine
My thoughts were confused

I knew it would happen
For me loneliness evermore
But my mind cannot endure it
Please, please help…

30/04/1978

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Ground Zero

What did they feel I wonder?
As they were swept away on that hideous wave.
That same wave that so terribly burnt the names
Hiroshima and Nagasaki
Into our dull consciousness.

Were they afraid, did they feel terror
In those few seconds?
Did they think on their loved ones,
Did they know they were going to die,
Or were they just living their ordinary lives?

Were the children playing in the streets?
Were the mothers shopping, washing, talking?
Were the fathers working as they had always done?
Did they have brothers I wonder
Fighting at the front?

So many died in that instant, in that twinkling of an eye,
All on the orders of a solitary man so far away.
And so many of the undead
Suffered so terribly.
Was it worth it?

And now so many years later
What lessons have we learnt?
Could it ever happen again?
Will so many people die so needlessly
Or can we learn to live in peace?

13/01/1990

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