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Tag: nothingness

When I Am Here No Longer

When I am here no longer
Grieve not for I am nothing
But if a memory of me comes unbidden
Haste you to that great oak
That has at times so gently guarded us
And spread its shady limbs above our souls
Then sit you down against that hoary wrinkled trunk
And view again those verdant fields
Where often dancing larks on wing set flight
And cautious deer do snuggle in swelling grass
And when winds warm whisper
Your ruddy cheek so tenderly kisses
Silent hold your remembrance of me within
And know that I am near
At last at peace beside you
And tear not that I am gone
When I am here no longer

09/02/2021

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Alone

Tomorrow brings another day
Alone, world weary, without hope.
My cares lie heavy,
My thoughts in turmoil, torment me.
Another day without you I suffer.
My sorrow fills my aching heart.
My cup of loneliness overflows.
I call out your name,
Silence answers me,
It’s repression surrounds me,
Darkness enfolds me,
In the distance a light I see,
Could it be my salvation?

15/05/1990

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I am just

I am just a simple man,
A man who doesn’t always say the right thing,
Who doesn’t always know the right thing to do.
A man who cannot always express himself
Like a gifted speaker
Who sometimes stops
And starts when saying something.
Whose words sometimes like torrents flow forth.
A man whose emotions sometimes overwhelm him
And then like a fool degrades himself
Before those for whom he cares
And forever he then carries a burden of guilt
Of some imagined wrong.

I am just a stupid man,
Who doesn’t always see that someone cares.
Who feels a numbness for the outside world,
And an emptiness within.
Who doesn’t believe that love exists,
For him, only others.
Never for methat simple happiness
Of love requited.

I am just a wanting man,
Crying out for someone to care.
A lonely voice it seems to me,
For no-one answers.
Am I alone?
And you, will you heed my call?
Please.

15/05/1990

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So many years have I

So many years have I
The littling voices heard
And listened whilst
They lying spoke
And mouthed deriding words
Malignant in my mind
Of how I ungainly, unseemly and unfit
For custom social and for life unsuited was
Of intellect enfeebled and any skills divorced
And so believing siren song
Until now I travelled blind
But now I meekly sit and I ask
The truth of all I knew
If so unskilled am I
Then how have I become
All that I am and that is much
And more there is to come
So now must I
The littling voices still
And onward go
And higher still
To see what lies beyond
Then shall I with perfect peace
Full consummated pass
To darkness then
To seek what lies beyond

29/11/2009

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Stooped Raincoat II

I sit here in my room and look out across the street
There is a light on in someone’s room
Whose I’ll never know, someone I know I will never meet
I’m just a stooped raincoat in the gloom

Star shine
Shine brightly
Brightly on those out there who know
Know what it means to be tired and alone
Alone without anyone
Anyone to love

I walk in the park watching prams pulling mothers
Talking to no-one, letting their children play
Passing me by, going back to their lovers
Not seeing a stooped raincoat in their way

Star shine
Shine brightly
Brightly on anyone out there who loves
Loves all those who are tired and alone
Alone without anyone
Anyone to love

I recall the one I love, how her going hurt me so
Standing there, an old suitcase in her hand
She told me she had to leave, had to go
She couldn’t love a stooped raincoat so bland

Star shine
Shine brightly
Brightly down on the one whose leaving hurt me so
So much it left me tired and alone
Alone without anyone
Anyone to love

I stand alone in the city square and look round
There’s nothing here except the city lights
Nothing here for me in this cold, hard town
For a lost stooped raincoat in the night

Star shine
Shine brightly
Brightly down on all those lonely people here
Here where we live so tired and alone
Alone without anyone
Anyone to love

I turn round and head back to my lifeless room
The light is off now there across the street
It doesn’t matter anyway, let my pain resume
For me, a stooped raincoat incomplete

Star shine
Shine brightly
Brightly down on the life I leave behind
Behind me so tired and alone
Alone without anyone
Anyone to love

05/03/2003

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For You

The radio plays
Gently in the background
Of my life.
The light throws dim shadows
Onto the dreary walls
Of my room.
It is so cold here now
Without you.
You have left an emptiness
That nothing fills.
An icy silence
Of nothing heard
Except my breathing
Harsh and halting.
The hours are long,
Time creeps past.
The hands of the clock
On the wall
Are resistant
To my will,
They are persistent
In their motionlessness.
I fill my life with boredom
And remembrances.
I warm my spiritless heart
With tales of happier days
And wait in frighted hope.
For you.

12/07/1990

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