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Tag: life

A Homecoming

A Homecoming

Suburban walls, suburban gardens,
Suburban bricks
Confront me
A decade on
So much has changed
Behind my suburban exterior
Am I as unrecognisable
As the scene before me?
As cold, as hard, as bleak?
So much changed
Beneath the same shell
Like these houses and shops
Am I, like them,
Decaying,
Rotting from within?
Have these ten long and weary years
So etched their pain
Into the very stones of my soul
That I may never return
To what I was?
But if I could
Would I?
Have I endured the torturing winds
And tormenting rains
For nothing?
Have I watched them erode my hard exterior
And expose my raw and bloody flesh
To the tempestuous elements
Just to say
"It is right,
Right to suffer so"?
No, no I will not
But stand and shout
At my new found strength
Swept clean by those who seek to hurt
And once more return
Return to this suburbia
Unlike those around
In their safe suburban lives
A newcomer
Returning to my fathers' land
To these
Suburban walls, suburban gardens,
Suburban bricks

13/07/1990

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From Inside

From Inside

So many fears
Ripping me apart
Voices in my head
Driving me insane
Pain
Hitting me like rain

Keep it inside
Smile at distant faces
No-one comes near
Only fear
Isolation
No Emotion

Mask your true identity
Bluff your way through
All you see is red
Like blood
No-one cares
No-one dares

Struggle, struggle without end
Slowly die, drain away
Only empty shell remains
Blown easily on the wind
What a mess
Early death

No-one holds funeral
Who'll mourn
Fear torn
Wreck that you are
Silent strain
Silent pain

Insanity within insanity
Madness out of bounds
Drive dies
So do I
No caress
No rest

Say goodbye to the outside world
Say goodbye to tomorrow
Only yesterday
Yesterday never leaves
Say goodbye
Hello pain

Confusion, confusion, confusion
Mix up in time
Future, Present, Past
Cannot last
Death comes fast
Oh to cease breathing

14/12/1983

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Suburban Hell

Suburban Hell

As I stumble through this existence
I wander past
Rows of stark stone prisons
Encaging sad suburban souls
Within their lifeless, faced-brick cells.
They mete out their unhappy existences
Behind tired chintz masks
Vying with each other
In uselessness
And emptiness
Trying to be the first
To new levels of unhappiness.
They seek to pacify
Their material gods
With plastic offerings
Lain before a brushed chrome altar.
They have the same oneness of mediocrity,
Of outward decency
And inward moral gangrene.
They talk of the weather,
The news,
The garden
And inside they lust
For fornication
To the world they are virtuous
And to the universe nothing
Forever NOTHING.

13/07/1990

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There lies my heart

There lies my heart

There where the grey mountain
Holds its head against the sky
There lies my heart in joy

There where the wanton sea
Its waves against the rocks does break
There lies my heart in joy

There where the green Earth
Its face in the Sun does bare
There lies my heart in joy

There where the salt laden air
Assaults my breath
There lies my heart in joy

There where the city lights
In the sky like stars does shine
There lies my heart in joy

27/01/1988

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The Sin of Underprivilege

The Sin of Underprivilege

And another one dies
Of AIDS, of TB, of cancer
What does it matter?
We don't care
Why should we?
It doesn't affect us
Secure in our towers of privilege
Looking down on those below.
How easily we condemn their poverty
From our exalted positions
Do we really need them?
We ask themselves
They are just an eyesore
On our cultured landscape
They don't contribute anything
Useful
To our lives
We are better off without them!
And outside
Another one dies.

16/07/1990

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Our lives

Our lives

We are all journeying
Coming from nowhere
Travelling to nowhere
Our sojourn we spend
In confusion
Without understanding
Ourselves
Or those around us

We die
As we have lived
Alone
And are immediately forgotten
By those we loved
And are left
To turn to dust
In peace
And loneliness
To spend eternity
Alone
Forever alone

18/09/2000

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