A Room
A room
A crowd
A silence
Possesses me
Alone I sit
But surrounded
Encased in humanity
And I am afraid
Of what?
Leave a Comment A room
A crowd
A silence
Possesses me
Alone I sit
But surrounded
Encased in humanity
And I am afraid
Of what?
Leave a Comment The coffee cup grows cold slowly in my hand
Whilst I, distracted, think on you.
Then the world surrounding me
Stops
And I lose myself in fading remembrances
My heart is warmed
And I am slowly lifted
Out of the darkness
That I have built around me
Since you left.
And when I turn back to reality
I know you are with me
Within
And I am whole.
13/07/1990
Leave a CommentIn the silence of summer standing
Alone with you
Within these green walls
Of forest quiet
With our remembrances
Of life and love
And being
Within the universe
14/11/1997
Leave a CommentSuburban walls, suburban gardens,
Suburban bricks
Confront me
A decade on
So much has changed
Behind my suburban exterior
Am I as unrecognisable
As the scene before me?
As cold, as hard, as bleak?
So much changed
Beneath the same shell
Like these houses and shops
Am I, like them,
Decaying,
Rotting from within?
Have these ten long and weary years
So etched their pain
Into the very stones of my soul
That I may never return
To what I was?
But if I could
Would I?
Have I endured the torturing winds
And tormenting rains
For nothing?
Have I watched them erode my hard exterior
And expose my raw and bloody flesh
To the tempestuous elements
Just to say
"It is right,
Right to suffer so"?
No, no I will not
But stand and shout
At my new found strength
Swept clean by those who seek to hurt
And once more return
Return to this suburbia
Unlike those around
In their safe suburban lives
A newcomer
Returning to my fathers' land
To these
Suburban walls, suburban gardens,
Suburban bricks
13/07/1990
Leave a CommentSo many fears Ripping me apart Voices in my head Driving me insane Pain Hitting me like rain Keep it inside Smile at distant faces No-one comes near Only fear Isolation No Emotion Mask your true identity Bluff your way through All you see is red Like blood No-one cares No-one dares Struggle, struggle without end Slowly die, drain away Only empty shell remains Blown easily on the wind What a mess Early death No-one holds funeral Who'll mourn Fear torn Wreck that you are Silent strain Silent pain Insanity within insanity Madness out of bounds Drive dies So do I No caress No rest Say goodbye to the outside world Say goodbye to tomorrow Only yesterday Yesterday never leaves Say goodbye Hello pain Confusion, confusion, confusion Mix up in time Future, Present, Past Cannot last Death comes fast Oh to cease breathing
14/12/1983
Leave a CommentI sit here in my room and look out across the street There is a light on in someone's room Whose I'll never know, someone I know I will never meet I'm just a stooped raincoat in the gloom Star shine Shine brightly Brightly on those out there who know Know what it means to be tired and alone Alone without anyone Anyone to love I walk in the park watching prams pulling mothers Talking to no-one, letting their children play Passing me by, going back to their lovers Not seeing a stooped raincoat in their way Star shine Shine brightly Brightly on anyone out there who loves Loves all those who are tired and alone Alone without anyone Anyone to love I recall the one I love, how her going hurt me so Standing there, an old suitcase in her hand She told me she had to leave, had to go She couldn't love a stooped raincoat so bland Star shine Shine brightly Brightly down on the one whose leaving hurt me so So much it left me tired and alone Alone without anyone Anyone to love I stand alone in the city square and look round There's nothing here except the city lights Nothing here for me in this cold, hard town For a lost stooped raincoat in the night Star shine Shine brightly Brightly down on all those lonely people here Here where we live so tired and alone Alone without anyone Anyone to love I turn round and head back to my lifeless room The light is off now there across the street It doesn't matter anyway, let my pain resume For me, a stooped raincoat incomplete Star shine Shine brightly Brightly down on the life I leave behind Behind me so tired and alone Alone without anyone Anyone to love
05/03/2003
2 CommentsThe radio plays
Gently in the background
Of my life.
The light throws dim shadows
Onto the dreary walls
Of my room.
It is so cold here now
Without you.
You have left an emptiness
That nothing fills.
An icy silence
Of nothing heard
Except my breathing
Harsh and halting.
The hours are long,
Time creeps past.
The hands of the clock
On the wall
Are resistant
To my will,
They are persistent
In their motionlessness.
I fill my life with boredom
And remembrances.
I warm my spiritless heart
With tales of happier days
And wait in frighted hope.
For you.
12/07/1990
Leave a CommentAs I stumble through this existence
I wander past
Rows of stark stone prisons
Encaging sad suburban souls
Within their lifeless, faced-brick cells.
They mete out their unhappy existences
Behind tired chintz masks
Vying with each other
In uselessness
And emptiness
Trying to be the first
To new levels of unhappiness.
They seek to pacify
Their material gods
With plastic offerings
Lain before a brushed chrome altar.
They have the same oneness of mediocrity,
Of outward decency
And inward moral gangrene.
They talk of the weather,
The news,
The garden
And inside they lust
For fornication
To the world they are virtuous
And to the universe nothing
Forever NOTHING.
13/07/1990
Leave a CommentThere where the grey mountain Holds its head against the sky There lies my heart in joy There where the wanton sea Its waves against the rocks does break There lies my heart in joy There where the green Earth Its face in the Sun does bare There lies my heart in joy There where the salt laden air Assaults my breath There lies my heart in joy There where the city lights In the sky like stars does shine There lies my heart in joy
27/01/1988
Leave a CommentShe sits there opposite me In that old chair of hers Knitting those strange shapes she made Toys, animals, useful things So many - I have some still In some forgotten corner of my life She sits there opposite me Wrapped against the cold Her breathing sometimes shallow Sometimes laboured, sometimes still So far, so very far From my youth remembered time She sits there opposite me So frail and grey and worn Her vibrant life reduced, debased, displaced By depression, despair and pain And saddened we Sit with her and we cry She sits no longer where So staunchly once she did Her one warm chair now empty stands Soundless like a vault And poorer now we live With remembrance of a once great life
29/11/2009
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