What’s my name?
And then you
Tomorrow brings another day
Alone, world weary, without hope.
My cares lie heavy,
My thoughts in turmoil, torment me.
Another day without you I suffer.
My sorrow fills my aching heart.
My cup of loneliness overflows.
I call out your name,
Silence answers me,
It’s repression surrounds me,
Darkness enfolds me,
In the distance a light I see,
Could it be my salvation?
The corrugated roof cracks and moans
In the still midday heat
No breeze breaks this spell
Of shimmering mirage
On the rock strewn ridges
The cows gather lazily
Under the few shade trees
Scattered scantily about
This strange, hot landscape
I lie, exhausted, sweaty
Under this groaning roof
And feel all nature
Press in upon me
Hot, humid, overpowering
The crickets shrill shriek
Arises from their hidden roosts
Piercing this eerie silent Hades
Into which I have wearily journeyed
I am just a simple man,
A man who doesn’t always say the right thing,
Who doesn’t always know the right thing to do.
A man who cannot always express himself
Like a gifted speaker
Who sometimes stops
And starts when saying something.
Whose words sometimes like torrents flow forth.
A man whose emotions sometimes overwhelm him
And then like a fool degrades himself
Before those for whom he cares
And forever he then carries a burden of guilt
Of some imagined wrong.
I am just a stupid man,
Who doesn’t always see that someone cares.
Who feels a numbness for the outside world,
And an emptiness within.
Who doesn’t believe that love exists,
For him, only others.
Never for methat simple happiness
Of love requited.
I am just a wanting man,
Crying out for someone to care.
A lonely voice it seems to me,
For no-one answers.
Am I alone?
And you, will you heed my call?
Colours run through my mind
Lights, shapes, memories
Are all I have now
Of a once complete consciousness
Stability no longer exists
Since she came
At once my mind became restless
Until it became divided
My soul stretched out to her
My shyness fought against nature
My actions were no longer mine
My thoughts were confused
I knew it would happen
For me loneliness evermore
But my mind cannot endure it
Please, please help…
A million more breaths to breathe, my friend,
Before you die.
A weary life you lead
In a shattered, scattered shell.
The yearning ceased long ago.
Now only an empty, dull ache
What did they feel I wonder?
As they were swept away on that hideous wave.
That same wave that so terribly burnt the names
Hiroshima and Nagasaki
Into our dull consciousness.
Were they afraid, did they feel terror
In those few seconds?
Did they think on their loved ones,
Did they know they were going to die,
Or were they just living their ordinary lives?
Were the children playing in the streets?
Were the mothers shopping, washing, talking?
Were the fathers working as they had always done?
Did they have brothers I wonder
Fighting at the front?
So many died in that instant, in that twinkling of an eye,
All on the orders of a solitary man so far away.
And so many of the undead
Suffered so terribly.
Was it worth it?
And now so many years later
What lessons have we learnt?
Could it ever happen again?
Will so many people die so needlessly
Or can we learn to live in peace?
When in the rebellion of mens eyes I am alone,
I have a warmth inside that gives me life.
When in the hatred of men’s thoughts I am in danger,
I have no fear for you are with me.
When in the anger of men’s fears I suffer without sound,
I feel no anguish for you strengthen me.
When in the blackness of men’s hearts I stumble blindly,
I worry not for you are there to guide me.
When in the dungeon of men’s dreams I am a captive,
I am in peace for your love frees me.
The candle in the corner splutters and dies
Fading slowly to dimness
Casting strange dancing shadows on the walls
Until it is engulfed by growing darkness
And only a glowing ember is left
Where its life used to be
And then that too disappears
Just the smoke remains
Forlornly forcing its way heavenward
And then it too is gone
And all is left in cold blackness.
Who had warmed their frozen hands
Around this self-same flame?
How many children had played late at night
In its warm and friendly light?
How much was done
Whilst this candle gave of itself
Using what it had only for others
Until all was consumed
And it left us alone with the dark
The cold and lonely dark